3. Hearing How Great You Are As You’re Getting Dumped

A reasonable dumper feels the moral obligation to butter up the dumped person by giving them a bit of an ego boost as they pull off the Band-Aid; and it’s likely that someday, the dumped person will appreciate or recognize that the dumper was right: the dumped person is attractive, smart, and primed to be loved by an anonymous someone, someday; just not the dumper, right now. But logical thinking is a long ways coming, so all the dumped person will recognize during this pep talk is that they’re receiving a breakup speech coated in confectionary sugar, that if the dumper actually believed all of these AWESOME ADJECTIVES applied to the FRESHLY DUMPED PERSON, they would not be getting dumped but perhaps engaged, and that this little self-esteem parade unfolding before their bloodshot, begging eyes is a transparent attempt on the dumper’s behalf to avoid any hatred the dumped person might feel. Because who wants that, that breakup hatred? Certainly not the dumper, who stands a good chance of changing their phone number or getting swallowed up by the earth shortly after the breakup anyway in order to circumvent the inevitably messy aftermath of dumping someone who’s “just so… great.”

4. Trying To Defend The Crazy Person You’re Dating To Your Friends

Sometimes you just know when the person you’re dating exhibits red-flaggy, abnormal, or straight up crazy behavior, but you’re kind of okay with it — so long as your friends don’t find out. No one wants to spend their Happy Hour repeating things like, “It’s actually kind of my fault that she broke into the apartment. I mean, I didn’t answer the phone for like… 45 minutes… because I was in the shower…” or “Yeah, he’s been in Italy for three weeks now and hasn’t answered any of my emails but it’s only because he’s a free spirit, which I love about him, by the way!” It’s like, PEOPLE. When I want to be jerked out of denial, I’ll send an SOS or something. I’m not ready to come back down from this cloud made of delusions and epic sex, OKAY?

5. Giving A Flake The Benefit Of The Doubt

Despite our better judgment, sometimes we continuously attempt to make plans with a cornflake and ignore that at this point we can predict with precision how, when, and why they’ll back out. Over text message, fifteen minutes after we were supposed to meet for dinner, with the candlestick, because of the basketball game! Did I win? I mean, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me five times, DO YOU UNDERSTAND I’M MISSING DEGRASSI FOR THIS, YOU EVIL TIME SUCCUBUS? 

last night i had the pleasure of attending the 92y spring gala. 

my guest/best friend/big and i were actually not the youngest people there (thank you to whomever brought the toddler and all of the men with their second wives).

after dinner, we were graced with a performance by the legendary group, Chicago (whose eponymous vinyl hangs on my wall and was my mother’s first concert).

watching them on stage was an absolute pleasure. their founder, Walter Parazaider, introduced them as, “the musical aggregation known as “Chicago.”

Chicago still rocks…HARD.

each musician played multiple instruments and was clearly having a great time on stage. the trombone player James Pankow knows how to get down and does so even while hoisting his horn.

despite the fact that the majority of the audience had left before halfway through the performance (due to both old age and a lack of appreciation for superb tunes) the band played as if the tiny auditorium were a full house.

a guitar pick was thrown in my direction, the unappreciative woman behind me on her blackberry had no idea what it was and left it under her seat. i made sure to grab it after she left.

closing with “25 or 6 to 4” to a standing ovation, this was definitely a once in a lifetime experience i was overjoyed to have been a part of.

ay dios mio! so late. so sorry.

let us start with the entire blind pilot album “we are the tide”.

also, the entire new fun. album “some nights”

and….”port of morrow” (the shins…well, that was obvious)

continuing…

temporary-white rabbits

gone daddy gone-gnarls barkley

winter-maps and atlases

scarlet- 2:54

wind was the wine-woods

R U Mine-Arctic Monkeys

origins-tennis

the reflection of you-bear in heaven

beach comber-real estate

DIY-keep shelley in athens

bright lights-gary clark jr.

gun has no trigger-dirty projectors

obedear-purity ring

paddling out-miike snow

serpents-sharon van etten

tomyhusband:

I don’t mind having one. I don’t even mind losing one. I only mind if you don’t know how to make one.

You make it a rule to have coffee before any important coffee meeting, because you want to already be alert and perky in advance.
You prefer to date other coffee drinkers because their mouth tastes like coffee.
You have strongly considered hooking yourself up to an IV filled with coffee and carrying it around with you at all times.
You make your coffee so strong no one else will drink it and other people will actually beg you not to make coffee.
You openly judge others on their coffee orders and are vehemently anti-Frappucino.
You learned how to brew your own coffee before you learned how to cook.
You can order a tall blonde with a red eye and know nothing bad is happening.

Your blood pressure is probably through the roof.

You might have a problem. 

(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)

5th avenue frogger uses real time traffic data on nyc’s 5th avenue. creator tyler dangelo hacked the 1980’s arcade game to create this modern version.

already been done. i mean, what hasn’t been? but this concept is forever immortalized in seinfeld during george’s attempt to save a high score.

as i tend to relate most things in my life to this always applicable show, my perpetual attempts to run across streets in the middle of traffic in a hurried new yorker fashion often imitate this, in a (what i hope) is a somewhat less spastic manner.